Five ways men try to feel more

The STAYR Journal · A calm look at a common question

Five ways men try to feel more at ease in the bedroom, ranked by how well they actually hold up

Most advice on this topic is either a lecture or a sales pitch. We spent a few weeks reading what men say to each other in forums, compared the common approaches side by side, and ranked them on one question: does it help you stay relaxed and present with your partner?

STAYR Editorial · Men's wellness · 4 min read · Updated September 2026
A couple relaxed and close together
Most of what gets in the way isn't physical. It's the worry.

Confidence in intimacy is rarely about performance. It is mostly about nerves: the feeling that the moment might end sooner than either of you wanted, and the way that worry makes everything tense. Almost every man deals with it at some point, and almost nobody talks about it.

The good news is that it is one of the more fixable things in life. The less good news is that the internet offers five different fixes, and they are not equally useful. Here is how they compare.

The short version

  1. 1A soft support ring (STAYR)Simple, drug-free, noticeable the first time.Best overall
  2. 2Pelvic-floor exercisesGenuinely useful, but slow and easy to abandon.Good, long-term
  3. 3Breathing and slowing downHelps with nerves, does little on its own.Helpful add-on
  4. 4Better sleep, less stressTrue, but not something you fix this week.Background work
  5. 5Waiting for it to sort itself outThe most common approach, and the least effective.Not recommended

How we compared them

Four questions, applied to every option: Does it address the actual worry? How quickly does it make a difference? Is there anything to plan, take or risk? And what does it cost over a year, not just once?

Ranked 1 of 5

A soft support ring (STAYR)

This is the option most men have never seriously considered, usually because they picture something hard, tight and uncomfortable. STAYR is the opposite of that. It is a soft, stretchy ring made from body-safe medical-grade silicone, worn at the base, designed to hold gentle, even support without pinching. Many men tell us the main effect is simply feeling more relaxed, because there is one less thing to think about.

What works

  • Noticeable the first time you use it
  • Nothing to swallow or plan ahead
  • Soft enough to forget it's there
  • One purchase, lasts months
  • Plain packaging, generic billing
  • 30-day money-back guarantee

What to know

  • Takes a few seconds to put on
  • Only sold online
  • Not suitable for everyone (see safety note below)

Verdict: the only option that helps tonight rather than in three months. A sensible place to start.

See the STAYR ring Buy 1, get 1 free · Discreet shipping · 30-day guarantee

Ranked 2 of 5

Pelvic-floor exercises

A man doing a floor exercise in a quiet room

The most honest entry on the list. Strengthening the pelvic floor has real evidence behind it and costs nothing. The catch is time: it usually takes a couple of months of daily practice before anything changes, and most men quietly stop around week three. It is worth doing, but it is a long game, not a fix for this weekend.

What works

  • Real evidence
  • Free, no side effects

What to know

  • Months before results
  • Hard to stick with

Verdict: do it anyway, just don't expect it to help right away.

Ranked 3 of 5

Breathing and slowing down

Slower breathing, taking your time, staying with the moment instead of racing ahead. It genuinely takes the edge off nerves, and it pairs well with almost everything else here. On its own, though, it asks you to be calm in exactly the situation that makes you tense, which is easier said than done.

Verdict: a good habit, better as a companion than a solution.

Ranked 4 of 5

Better sleep, less stress

Tiredness and stress affect everything, including this. Sleeping well, drinking less and getting some daylight all help over time. But "fix your whole life first" is not a plan most people can act on by Friday, and it does nothing for the worry in the moment.

Verdict: true, important, and far too slow to be the answer.

Ranked 5 of 5

Waiting for it to sort itself out

This is what most men actually do. The trouble is that the worry feeds on itself: an awkward evening makes the next one tenser, and the tension makes the next evening awkward. Nothing changes because nothing was changed.

Verdict: the default, and the least effective by a distance.

Why the ring came first

Every other option on this list is either slow or partial. The ring is the one thing that helps the first evening you try it, needs no planning, and costs once rather than every time. Combine it with the exercises and a slower pace and you have covered both the short term and the long term.

Questions men ask before ordering

Will it fit?
It is soft and stretchy, designed to fit most men comfortably.
Does it feel strange?
Most men compare it to a watch: noticeable for a minute, then forgotten. Give it two or three uses.
Is it discreet?
Plain box, and nothing on the bank statement names the product.
What if it isn't for me?
Return it within 30 days for a full refund.
Safety note. A support ring is not suitable for everyone. Skip it, or speak to a doctor first, if you have a circulation or nerve condition or take blood thinners. Do not wear it for more than 30 minutes at a time, and remove it right away if you notice numbness, coldness or discomfort.
STAYR set: two rings, lubricant and guide

Try it this week

  • 2 rings for the price of 1
  • Free lubricant
  • Free express shipping
  • Discreet packaging
Order the STAYR ring 30-day money-back guarantee

This article is general information, not medical advice. If a concern persists, speak to a qualified healthcare professional. STAYR is a drug-free wellness accessory made from body-safe medical-grade silicone. Published by STAYR, a brand of Anatomica Labs.